Grieving the Loss of a Pet
/We brought Chester home when he was only 6 weeks old. He was such a tiny thing. When I think back on that time of my new marriage and Chester being our first “child” I am filled with warmth and love. I remember thinking, at the time, the 10-15 years of a life of a pet is such a very long time. Only it isn’t…
This year was Chester’s 12th year with us. While every time I took notice to see him moving slower and his fur graying faster, losing him still seemed like someday away. Last month we said goodbye to Chester. As for many others as well, losing a loved one during the holiday season is never easy. It was a weird thing to notice his empty bed or to no longer see him gazing at the Christmas tree with his brother. More than ever, sounds of door bells ringing on the television was where I noticed his absence the most. He would always grumble and growl as if it were our own doorbell, something that always made me chuckle.
I was very gracious to have received a number of calls from my closest friends and family checking on me during that difficult time. A post on my Facebook must have had over 100 notifications from distant friends and family expressing their condolences. And I received a very special delivery of beautiful Christmas flowers from a fellow Dog Mom who no doubt understands.
However, I want to recognize for many, the loss of a pet is an unusual thing. Losing a pet sometimes goes unnoticed and unmentioned by the people in their own lives. Had it been a human family member, you are sure to receive flower arrangements, baked goods and phone calls from friends checking in on you. However, not everyone will have the pleasure of knowing and understanding the love of a dog or pet the way that you may have.
Here are some things I have taken comfort in since my own Chester’s passing and I hope that you do, too.
A Comfortable Life - We made sure Chester had the very best life. I take comfort in knowing that he had a warm home, all the toys he could want, daily snacks, a food bowl that was filled everyday, comfortable bed and all the snuggles we could give him. While he was just in my life a short 12 years, he spent his whole life knowing he was loved.
Dying with Dignity - They told me that I would know when the time was right. In the days leading up until Chester’s last, I questioned often if it was the right time. I anguished over knowing whether or not to give him more time to get better or if I would be giving up on him too soon? However, when the moment came, I knew in that instant that it definitely was time. We stayed with Chester, holding him until his very last breath. I take comfort in knowing that we made the right decision for him and in knowing that I was there with him until the end.
Being Sad is Okay - There is absolutely nothing wrong with being sad and grieving your pet. The love I gave Chester was true and honest. I know that he loved me, too. Even if others do not understand your grief over the loss of a pet, just know there are many others out there that do. Being sad another is gone from your life means that you cared deeply for them while they were here, no matter what form that may be.
I want to leave you with a poem that I found. I have no idea who wrote the poem, but it gave me great comfort and I hope it does you, too.
The Last Battle
If it should be that I grow frail and weak
And pain should keep me from my sleep,
Then will you do what must be done,
For this — the last battle — can't be won.
You will be sad I understand,
But don't let grief then stay your hand,
For on this day, more than the rest,
Your love and friendship must stand the test.
We have had so many happy years,
You wouldn't want me to suffer so.
When the time comes, please, let me go.
Take me to where to my needs they'll tend,
Only, stay with me till the end
And hold me firm and speak to me
Until my eyes no longer see.
I know in time you will agree
It is a kindness you do to me.
Although my tail its last has waved,
From pain and suffering I have been saved.
Don't grieve that it must be you
Who has to decide this thing to do;
We've been so close — we two — these years,
Don't let your heart hold any tears.
— Unknown
